Just don’t do it

Telluride Daily Planet, Friday, January 3, 2025

My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.” -Nia Vardalos

Last week, the vet strongly recommended that our Corgi be put on a diet, something we feared since the breed is known, if left unattended, for eating themselves into dog-sausages. The fact is, the treats had gotten out of control, including popcorn, his favorite, and the occasional chip, his second favorite. “It will only get worse, if you don’t start now,” said the vet.

True. And – well — we could all use a reset, I thought. Might as well put us all on chip-patrol.

Chances are very good, we are all feeling a trigger – or at least a twinge – at this particular point in the yearly cycle, this magnetic needle, granddame of dates, venerated and guilt-inducing New Year. If not on the stroke of 00:00:00, when? Here are the two correct answers to that question: some other time or right now.

In the coaching world, January 1 is like a reverse holiday. It’s generally guaranteed to be a set up for failure, a time of far too many promises and unrealistic resolutions. What’s most dastardly about it, of course, is the string of free-for-all, rule flinging, gob stopping days leading up to it, when one last piece of cake is in order, one last truffle, slab of brie, or big puff-pastry whatever. And yet, who doesn’t love a fresh year? These opposite polls, the cathode of surfeit and the anode of reset, find each other irresistible.

But this year, I’m saying, don’t love, leave it alone. Just don’t go anywhere near New Year’s setting goal setting until you calm down, take a few breaths and initiate a couple of starter things, like stop hating on yourself for overindulging when the whole world is practically throwing the stuff at you. I don’t see the Corgi loathing himself for eating all my friend’s dog’s freeze dried food (twice), even if it meant he was so parched he downed half a gallon of water in the middle of the night (twice). He didn’t hang his head low in self-recrimination, he just carried on, diarrhea and all.

We can begin there. Don’t start a new cycle feeling mostly bad.

Then, if we are paying attention to trending virtues of the day, we can be judicious in our goal setting, going slowly and incrementally, setting SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound). Accountability can be established (a friend, a chart, a reward) to keep us on track. Then we can work on yet another trending virtue, re-popularized by re-trending ancient Greek philosopher Marcus Aurelius, and one that has seen a spike in books dedicated to it lately: Discipline.

The countless recent books on discipline, habit-building, and mindset show us how little discipline we might actually have in various areas of our lives, and how doing something regularly and consistently and in the right frame of mind might actually help us on a number of critical fronts, health and happiness among them. Where we apply discipline can run the gamut, from making one’s bed every dang day or wall pushups or cold showers to disciplining ourselves to be less reactive, less controlled by circumstance. 

Personally, I like Michael Singer’s spiritual take (yogi and writer of The Untethered Soul and other books on spiritual growth). His view is that with discipline – in a practice of meditation, for instance – we can override the ego’s stranglehold on our freedom. By consistently doing something that we decide we want to do, regardless of whether we want to do it in the moment or not, the net result is that is that our habit overrides our unbridled and flailing personal psyches, and we are then on the road to personal liberation!

The bottom line, whether it’s about weight, sleep, self-improvement, movement or behavior, is to start small. We are not Corgis, waiting for our owners to reduce the kibble from a cup to two-thirds of a cup a day and withhold even the corner of a corn chip from the treat pool. We, as humans, are relegated – in a culture that attends ruthlessly to every vice and weakness — to our own goal making scenarios, using our own discipline. The key is to be kind and start small.

Sample SMART goal: To become the Digital Detox Diva by successfully resisting the urge to check social media for 1 hour after waking up for 7 consecutive mornings. To become the Corgi Calorie Queen by reducing Ricky Ricardo’s daily kibble intake by 1/3 cup over the two months, leading to a vet-approved slimmer waist and more palpable ribs.

Anyway, you get the idea. Wishing you all (and myself) better habits for better health in 2025!