Category: How To

  • Size matters

    Telluride Daily Planet, Sunday, October 12, 2014 In Brazil, a country known for its fine leather footwear, the national shoe is actually the rubber flip-flop. Chinelos. Never having been a huge flip-flop fan, I do nevertheless arrive unintentionally prepared with a pair of rubber flip-flops, in navy and white striped soles. I buy my first new…

  • Reverse psychology

    Telluride Daily Planet, Sunday, December 29, 2013 You. Yes, you. You are no longer allowed to have New Year’s resolutions, by decree of the highest court in the land, signed and dated this 29th day of December, 2013. It is expressly forbidden and punishable by law. So don’t even try. When the ball drops and…

  • Hooked on Mnemonics

    Telluride Daily Planet, Sunday, June 23, 2013 Her name is Gloria. But I’m so preoccupied with the freckle above her lip, I only grasp her name for a half second, the length of real-time it takes three syllables to get lost in the serpentine chutes of my ear canals instead of arriving at the consecrated…

  • How to capture a woman (with or without a butterfly net)

    Telluride Daily Planet Sunday, August 5, 2012 First of all forget everything you thought you knew about women. When you and your friend were talking in a bar last night, and you told him you that you were sick of trying to figure women out and that if they couldn’t like you for exactly who…

  • Safety instructions

    Telluride Daily Planet Sunday, June 24, 2012 Before starting anything make sure you have read the directions twice. Reread that last sentence, for instance. First thing is just to calm down and think about someone you know who has lots of patience. Like your uncle Don who can fix everything, including toasters, and not only…

  • Going to great (graduated) lengths

    Telluride Daily Planet, Sunday, January 15, 2012 Another brilliant day at the skate track where I have brought an acquaintance to make a loop. She, an out-of-towner who hasn’t cross-country skied in years, is on borrowed equipment, which turns out to be skate skis, which she is unfamiliar with. I have on my “sport” Rossignol…