Category: 2009

  • A Ten-Bird Guide to Time 2010 Wall Calendar

    Telluride Daily Planet,  Wednesday, December 30, 2009 The winter solstice has teetered, a new year is on its way, and that means palettes of shrink-wrapped calendars will soon be handed out like Bingo cards to all of us, the day-trippers of time. There must be other people out there like me, yearning for something completely different:…

  • Holiday Shenanigans

    Telluride Daily Planet, Monday, December 7, 2009 Dear Santa, I’m worried, favorite superhero of mine. Because yesterday when I flashed on your face — which I do quite often during the holidays — my mind’s eye went directly to your mustache, and sure, it was white all right, but in place of those infamous soft…

  • Skin Deep

    Telluride Daily Planet, Friday, November 20, 2009 I really didn’t start using moisturizer until I was 48 years old. And as far as I know, only exotic types who stay out of the sun for years at a time — countesses or vampires, say — can get away with that. I have no idea what…

  • Day of the Dead Pumpkins

      Telluride Daily Planet, Thursday, November 5, 2009 One day, during the beta version of my jaded years (13-15), my father arrived at breakfast and — over his Mayo Clinic grapefruit and soft-boiled egg — announced that plants had brains. Not just nervous systems, he said, but brains. “They are not given enough credit for…

  • Anagrams, Part I

    Telluride Daily Planet, Thursday, October 22, 2009 It’s Sunday morning, the coffee pot is half empty, and I’m plugging my ears, trying to muffle the familiar voice of Will Shortz, the New York Times crossword puzzle editor and NPR Weekend Edition’s puzzlemaster. Even through my fingers, though, I know exactly what the only person on earth…

  • The F Word

    Telluride Daily Planet, Tuesday, October 6, 2009 March 2008. I am about to turn 50 when life sneaks up on me and does the equivalent of what my brother used to do when I was eight and he was sixteen: jump out from behind a door and scare me so bad all I can do…